accidentally discovered i have a daddy kink after me and my boyfriend mocked his abusive ex for having one

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some context: i used to be close friends with my boyfriend’s ex, we fell out. very manipulative, awful person. he mentioned one day she had a daddy kink and i openly mocked it and he said “he went along with it because it pleased her but he wasn’t into it”.

a few days ago after me and my boyfriend had sex i half-jokingly said “i felt the need to call you daddy” and we laughed about it since i find it cringe and i’ve never been interested in that or thought that about anyone else. but later on it was getting a bit steamy again and he suddenly said something along the lines of “are you gonna be a good girl for daddy?” and i absolutely crumbled. it was the hottest thing ever and he could tell how turned on i was.

afterwards i was extremely embarrassed about it and he reassured me that seeing me turned on by it made him turned on but i can’t help but feel bad knowing that this is something i am into and he kinda isn’t. it’s also a kink that i have made fun of for so long and i feel so much shame about it.

i can’t help but think it’s going to remind him of his ex or something as well.

any advice on how to get over this?

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