Bf is making me feel like I’m not tight enough for him

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When my bf and I started seeing each other, he couldn’t keep his hands off me. We had tons of sex and it was really fun. But now it’s over 4 years later and I have not felt very good about where we are at now. Lately we’ve had a lot less sex in general, but he also tells me no a lot. This makes me feel like he doesn’t want to for some reason. When we do have sex, he always has to jerk himself off at some point. Usually when he’s finishing himself. When I try to do it he doesn’t stay very hard but when he does it he’s really hard. When we have sex he doesn’t seem very into it and I think he’s putting me in positions that make it tighter for him, and I try to squeeze my Kegel muscle at the same time as much as I can but sometimes he still just won’t cum at all. This makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me. Am I not tight anymore?? What happened? He’s been telling me he won’t cum in me anymore (within the last month) because he ‘doesn’t trust my IUD’ all of a sudden, but i don’t believe that. I think he doesn’t think I’m tight enough now. What am I doing wrong? I do get really wet but it wasn’t an issue before ?

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