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I’m currently dating a guy who is experiencing body-image issues and as a result, the other night, couldn’t really reach an orgasm. After, he said he felt like he let me down, was a “disappointment” and didn’t “perform for me well.”
Honestly, it really caught me off guard. At the time, I tried to say I didn’t think of sex as a performance, I wasn’t interested in his orgasm being “for me” and I wanted it to be about him feeling good about us being together.
I think it’s still an issue, though. He’s made comments about him cumming being an experience “for me” before – I didn’t realize how serious it was until recently. He is well endowed and TBH I do find the volume visually exciting, but knowing he’s having a good time is even better. I said that, but it didn’t seem to help.
Could anyone clue me in on if this is a common sentiment for men, and give me advice on how to handle this? I care a lot and want to do it right, but this is the first time I’ve ever been with a man and I can’t wrap my head around why he feels this way.. so I’m struggling with how to address it.
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