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Hello! So I’m (28f) in a great marriage to a great guy (36m) and things are just dandy whilst conscious, but I’m just confused about some sexual-while sleeping actions and I hope that you folks can give me some insight.
I’m the HL one in the relationship, I believe that’s relevant info but not what the post is about.
My husband while sleeping, usually soon after falling asleep, sometimes likes to grope and touch my boobs/pussy. I take longer to fall asleep, so I’m almost always already awake when this happens.
I’m not at all opposed to this, but usually either he stops on his own still asleep or wakes up and stops. It’s led to some confusion. Most recently he woke up while sucking my nipple, I was kissing his neck and moaning so that’s probably why. I tried to initiate sex once he was awake but he was back asleep before I finished asking.
Usually I don’t mention it, I just enjoy the little moments, but I brought it up in the morning and he got SO embarrassed and just kept apologizing. So first question: was it wrong to bring up?
He mentioned how it must be annoying, but I said it’s only annoying because it gets me all ready to go just to flip the switch back off, but otherwise I love the sexual attention. Second question: did I fuck up by saying that?
He said it isn’t attached to any sexual dreams, or any dreams at all. I am so curious where this is coming from then, he’s not usually “aggressive” like he is while asleep. So it’s just different and I wish I knew why it happened.
Also, I’m confused on what I can do in the moment that, as the awake person, is solid in the consent area. I need to ask him this, obviously, but I’d like to hear some opinions so I have an idea of the different options. Personally I think kissing and caressing him while he does it is fine, but I guess I should ask. I don’t think it’s appropriate to touch his dick though since I know he’s asleep and he hasn’t consented to that specifically.
Finally- is it fair to ask him if it’s fair to use my vibrator after an instance? It’s very quiet but it might wake him up. Rarely but occasionally I get sexually frustrated after an instance of it and I don’t want to be mad at something he doesn’t even knowingly do. We don’t normally masterbate in front of each other, but we know it’s healthy and normal to do.
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