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I (18 nonbinary— born female) and my girlfriend (18 female) have been together for around eight months and started having sex three months ago. We were both virgins before that. It’s been really good. We’re very caring of and in tune with each other and we both always finish at least once. Although I am nonbinary I only typically feel very mild gender dysphoria so it doesn’t really get in the way. The only accommodation we have to make is that it makes me upset and dysphoric to have my nipples touched, so I’m never on the receiving end of that. Just brought that up to show that she can accommodate me nicely.
Cut to this weekend. We were having sex like normal (I was giving and she was receiving) when I heard her say something. We’re both pretty vocal, typical noises and remarks and stuff, but we’ve never said each other’s names. It just hadn’t really popped out yet. I asked what she said since I couldn’t hear it so she repeated and it was my name. Just my name, no other comments attached. I felt really bad but for some reason I immediately just did not like it. I almost eternally recoiled once I heard it, it caught me by unfortunate surprise. I kept the name I was given at birth and I typically don’t have much beef with it. It’s never made me dysphoric or made me feel anything negative gender-wise, I’m just not the biggest fan of how it sounds sometimes. But for the most part I’m fine with it, I like it, and I do not ever plan on changing it. I think it fits me. However, hearing it in this context made me feel pretty dysphoric, to my surprise. I never considered that to be an issue when we first started having sex. I didn’t say anything and we still finished like normal and it was overall a really good time but that moment made me wince. It’s been a few days but whenever I think about it I cringe. I feel so bad because I know she loves me and it just slipped out, so I’m not sure if I should tell her what my thoughts are. I love my girlfriend and don’t want to make her feel guilty for something she couldn’t have predicted and I also don’t want to be an asshole and make her feel bad. But at the same time I’m kinda scared it’ll happen again and become more common, which I don’t want since it makes me feel all weird.
Should I bring this up? If I were to talk to her about it, what would be the softest way of doing so?
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