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female, 20y/o. i have an appointment booked to talk with a professional, im just looking for some advice and tips from people who have experienced the same thing that i could try before that date.
me and a friend (i guess fuck buddies now?) have been hanging out regularly these past few months and the last time he spent the weekend we fell down the path of close cuddling that turns to sex. there has been tension in the air before and it was the last night before he had to go back home so we both felt like it was our only chance for a long while. after some nice foreplay we were both ready to go ahead with penetration, and i was very eager, but it hurt sooo bad. im talking burning like i sat on a flaming cactus. couldn’t even get it in half an inch without me having to stop it. he is very respectful and caring, so we went back to some more foreplay and tried again. same pain. we added lube. pain. more lube. pain. we decided to focus only on me and get me relaxed. he tried with a finger. couldn’t even get it to the first joint (?) without me being is extreme pain. after a total of two hours of trying, we gave up.
i know the size isn’t the problem because my ex was 9 inches and i have been able to take him without pain. i started to have problems with pain during my relationship with my ex, the last time we tried to have sex we couldn’t because of the pain. i assumed it was due to not being used to his size after a long while of not seeing eachother, but i don’t think that’s the problem in this case.
when i masturbate i rarely put anything inside myself and whenever i do its not the most comfortable thing. sometimes painful but most times just very meh, so i avoid it.
im wondering if something has happened physically that now makes it painful or if it’s a psychological problem. my ex did violate my boundaries on one occasion by ignoring my safeword so maybe that’s the reason behind it?
and advice and theories are welcome and im open to answer questions if information is missing
edit: im not on birth control. i take antidepressants but i started those long after this problem started
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