[F26] – Was this really rape?

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Last night I spent the night with a guy I’ve been having a long term sexual relationship with. We had had sex multiple times that evening and I thought we were going to sleep. Then he says he wants to fuck me again and I’m like okay.

Then he tries to penetrate me anally. We had had anal sex earlier that evening but I was sore now and did not want to have any more anal. I made some obvious disgruntled sounds and took his penis out of my ass and down to my vaginal opening (I thought maybe it had been a mistake and he was really aiming for my vagina all along). As I release my grip on his penis he pushes it back up to my ass and starts to enter me. I tell him I’m too sore and I again pull his penis out. He kind of laughs it off and says something about wanting to feel my ass one last time and enters me again.

At this point I’m in disbelief. I freeze and end up going along with it, after a short period of time telling him that he needs to finish because I am not capable of continuing much longer. He says in a playful way that he will “let me off the hook soon.” He finally cums and I go the bathroom, just shocked, not even crying. I feel that this was not consensual yet I fall asleep next to him and we have sex again the next morning.

I feel extremely used but I also ended up just letting him do what he wanted. I guess I could just have stood up and left. But I was honestly shocked that he would do that to me and also I’m a pleaser and didn’t want to ruin what had otherwise been a nice evening.

Was this rape? And what do I do from here?

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