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Possible assault tw
This happened last weekend and I’m trying to process what actually happened and my emotions surrounding it. Me, my friend (A) and her friends (calling the one relevant D) went out to the bar like we usually do. I (21F) got really drunk, but I handle my liquor well enough that I don’t make people uncomfortable and I can walk a pretty straight line. However if I’ve had a decent amount, things go to a blur. I think I was around there. D (30’s or 40’s) offered to drive me home when I asked if he could, saying it wasn’t a big deal. However after grabbing some food at a store he said it makes more sense to go to his place since it’s closer. I’m like okay whatever, you’re driving, and I’m also too tipsy to protest well. We get there and we go into his bed, I didn’t realize he would be sharing it with me since there were two beds. Soon enough I can recognize we’re kissing and I know he’s saying “I can finally talk to you” or something like that and just takes my boob out. We ended up having sex, but I really really didn’t want to do it. Let’s say I’m biased against how he acts. I was too nervous to say anything and thought “well he did take me home and it would be leading him on,” but he never even asked if I wanted to do it/continue. I’ve been drunk before with people who are just under the legal limit, and every time they ask me if I want to get sexual, and as it gets more intense they pause and make sure I’m actually okay with what’s going on and it’s okay if I don’t want to do anything, and when having sex they keep asking if I’m feeling okay. I’m able to understand consent when I drink, if someone says they don’t like something I stop, and I can usually ask them to stop when asked. I think he genuinely thought I wanted to have sex with him, but I just feel so ashamed about it. I don’t know if I’m making excuses about the situation so I don’t blame myself and my own actions. If so, how can I manage? Thank you.
EDIT – I told A about it and she said that he isn’t the type to force anything, and she’s slept with him before.
EDIT 2- I forgot to mention he lied to A about sleeping with me, saying he didn’t and he just took me home. He told me he did that because he “doesn’t like others knowing his business.”
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