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When me(23f) and the bf(26m) are having sex we usually start slow and i am mostly quiet in the beginning but as things are heating up i start moaning, one time when we were starting to get into it, after a particularly horny moan, he whispered in my ear (rough translation) “there’s a naughty girl within you, sounds like she wants to come out to play” and i was instantly close to orgasm, it happened so fast i couldn’t react, i maybe held back for 5 more thrusts while my mind was trying to catch up to what was happening. The orgasm was more out of control than usual, i was making all sort of sounds and he whispered “she is out now, i’m going to give her what she wants” and kept going a bit faster until he came too, i can’t remember the events exactly but i felt like i was blasted into another world.
After all of this i felt very embarrassed about my reaction and didn’t mention it at first, but he kept doing it, talking to this “bad girl” persona supposedly living inside me, he reacts to my moaning during sex, saying that’s when she’s coming out. This drives me wild in the moment, but i find it extremely embarrassing that it provokes this reaction.
I tried talking to him about it and he basically said there is nothing i should be embarrassed about and that he loves to see it happen. It’s made me hold back my moaning during sex and he just incorporated it into the game, he can see i’m holding back moans and says stuff like “bad girl trying to convince you to let her out, i can see it, it’s very cute”, the fact that i am barely able to be quiet, his smugness while he tells me these things, him on top of me, in the moment it all comes together and crushes my self control, it feels too good to resist. He doesn’t over do it so i have no chance to get desensitized to it, but when he does i instantly lose my mind, it’s like something switches inside me, and the stronger my reaction the more embarrassed i am afterwards.
I find most porn very cringey, the constant “give it to me” and “yes daddy” is a major turn off, and it’s trained me to be weirded out by this kind of stuff, how can my reaction to what is basically some very cringey words be this strong? How can i get over the embarrassment and enjoy that i enjoy it?
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