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Sorry if this is a mess. I’m sobbing in my bathroom right now.
My husband has recently began struggling with erectile dysfunction. We never had a crazy sex life, maybe 2-3 times a month at most for the past year (due to his work schedule and having kids). My libido wasn’t high so it wasn’t an issue.
Then, at the start of the year my libido skyrocketed. I would be willing to have sex multiple times a day were it feasible. But seemingly at the same time, my husband began saying his libido had dropped. And with the past few months he has only successfully gotten an erection once.
I also want to note that for whatever reason clitoral stimulation does nothing for me. Even if I get close to orgasm, my body shuts down and I feel nothing. So penetration is necessary for me to come.
I trust when he says he is horny and wants to have sex, just can’t. But he also just lost his health insurance and we can’t afford private health insurance and I don’t know if he is looking into sliding scale options or what. But we went to have sex today and he couldn’t get hard. I was very sexually frustrated (I’ve been waiting for today for weeks) but I know he is too.
But the actual penetrative sex aside, I don’t know how to cope with the idea of not knowing when or if ill ever get to experience the intimacy and love that comes along with the sex. I could live without the penetrarion and orgasm if I could just still get to experience the vulnerability and closeness with him. But after today he asked me to not even bring up sex anymore and just “let it happen naturally”. Then he said he worries about me “getting tired of waiting.” He says he doesn’t mean cheating.
I don’t want to make him feel embarrassed. I trust that this is genuine for him, and I don’t want to add on to the stress.
I’m a complete mess. Im so sexually frustrated and feeling insecure and almost grieving our sex life and the feeling of being intimate with him. Does anyone have any advice on how I should be handling this sensitive issue, or how to cope with the idea of not being intimate with my husband for the foreseeable future? I’ve suggested just making out, doing other sexual things, etc. but he hasn’t taken the bait so to speak.
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