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I’m (22F) having trouble cumming with my boyfriend (26M). Here are all the factors I think might contribute:
* I have only ever been able to cum by myself, with and without porn, with and without toys.
* I’m on SSRIs for high intensity OCD (sertraline).
* I sometimes watch pretty niche and specific porn (taste has changed over the years).
* I’ve had really bad body image and confidence in the past, as well as some post-orgasm guilt. My boyfriend has made me feel extremely comfortable with my body and I don’t consider this (or post-orgasm guilt) an active issue anymore, but who knows if it’s something subconscious.
We’ve tried foreplay, toys, me touching myself during sex, etc. Foreplay feels nice, but doesn’t get me to any build up. If anything, sometimes clitoral stimulation will get too much and it starts to hurt and my leg will shake uncontrollably. I don’t know if this is orgasm or not, but I usually get my boyfriend to stop if it reaches this
point.
PIV feels incredible (better than clitoral stuff for me) but I’m still no closer to orgasm. We’ve also tried incorporating some of my kinks/porn niches into sex but… nothing :(. I like really rough sex, but last time we had slower sex was sort of enlightening. My clit was rubbing on his stomach slowly which felt really nice. I feel like I could’ve been close then, but there’s really no tell-tale way to tell. I also happen to get full-body responses when he touches me NOT near my genitals (ie back), which might be something to consider.
I really worry because I love love LOVE having sex with him (and just love him in general). He’s happy to do foreplay until I come, but I usually get fed up after the 20 min mark of nothing and get him to switch to PIV. I have a high libido but no release. Last time I tried to touch myself by myself (w porn) almost felt like… nothing. It took me ages to get off and it wasn’t a strong orgasm at all. I’m worried it might be my antidepressants. I’ve gone on “drug holidays” and delayed consumption to no avail.
Very frustrated :(. Any advice is highly appreciated. Just wanna cum with my boyfriend!!!!
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