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I would like to say upfront that I apologize both for the length of this post and it’s content. For various reasons, I don’t really have anyone in my life that I could talk to about this. If this is offensive, please let me know. That is not my intent nor do I desire to come off in any derogatory manner. I just need honest feedback from people who don’t care to spare my feelings. On to the point…
For my entire life, dating has been a area of great pain and frustration. Idk why but it seems that I am absolutely invisible when it comes to romance with women. I’ve never been able to figure out what’s wrong with me.
Now tbh I’m not the most confident, outgoing, or lively guy in the world. I am more on the introverted side of things. However, I am able to “turn on” my extrovert in certain situations when I need to. But for the most part I guess I’m kinda shy and perhaps a bit socially awkward. So maybe that’s the issue?
Anyway, every attempt I’ve ever made at dating has failed miserably. The first girl I ever asked out literally laughed in my face. The closest I’ve come to dating, end with her telling me she’s not supposed to be in a relationship now. She also told me how I was “too good” and she didn’t want to corrupt me. Which I know means that she had issues to deal with but it cut like a knife to find out she was sleeping with someone else only a week later. This after pursuing her for months. A pursuit that she entertained because she, “liked the attention.” Unfortunately, this was not the last time I ended up in this situation.
I’ve never been able to talk to my friends about it because they are almost comically different than I am. My two best friends in college had both slept with over 20 women by our sophomore/junior year. While I don’t view women as merely sex objects, I do believe women are sexual creatures just like men and have every right to explore and express their sexuality in any way they see fit. This includes consensual, casual sex. Anyways, I was always jealous of their success and they could never understand my frustration. Most of the time they’d just feed me some BS about being a great guy and how they wished they were more like me. I would have gladly traded places.
Now I’m 29, single, and have never been in a relationship. To say I’m losing hope would be an understatement. I’m so afraid of dying alone. Which would be so ironic seeing that so many people randomly thank me without even knowing me. (I’m a firefighter) It just hurts knowing that I’ve never been good enough, attractive enough, or charismatic enough for anyone.
I guess my question is, what would make me so repulsive? Is it my height? (5’6) Is it just my looks? Is it just my personality? Should I just give up at this point? Would any women ever date or even hookup with a 29yo virgin?
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