I Almost Faint When I See My Vagina

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Writing this in desperate need of advice. its embarrassing so im using a burner. Iโ€™m a young woman who is a virgin, and i dont know how to describe this problem, but i have been deathly afraid of anytning entering my vagina since i hit puberty. i have no idea how to work through this and it is honestly so frustrating, it impacts intimacy with partners as I cannot bring myself to have intercourse. Fingering is not pleasurable, the only thing i can enjoy and dont find terrifying is receiving head. writing this because i masturbated (i only masturbate over clothing with a bullet vibrator, nothing else, no insertion) and that was fine, but i thoufht my fear had dissipated so i tried to experiment with penetration. i cojldnt bring myself to, and later looked at my vagina, spread in the mirror. i almost blacked out. my knees are still weak and i feel violently ill, i dont understand whats wrong or whether its psychological or physical. i really care about the man im seeing and want to lose my virginity to him, but i just cant het through this weird phobia or whatever it is. advice needed ๐Ÿ™

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