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I honestly want the ground to swallow me whole today, I feel so violated and humiliated.
I recently got back with my ex after being apart since April. It was mutual but wasn’t on good terms and we cut eachother out completely. Following the breakup, there were rumours he had shared very deep secrets/shames with my colleagues on a work night out (we used to work together so we have mutual colleagues/friends). I approached him about this and he denied it completely.
Fast forward to now, he stayed over Saturday night after we got speaking again and decided to give it another go. I appreciate I shouldn’t have done this and never have before, but I went on his phone to search their “lads group chat” as curiosity just got the better of me. I would be lying if i said I hadn’t thought about doing that every single day for the past 6 months.
Anyway, I wish I didn’t. I searched my name in their chat and not only did I find he had shared my darkest secrets/shames, antics in bed, personal issues and much more, he had sent them nude photos of me that he took. There was a photo of me tied up (sorry if that’s TMI) which is even more humiliating. Their reactions to it have made me feel worthless and like a sex object. These are colleagues I got on really well with, and they all completely objectified me. There were a lot of mentions about their “work night out” so who knows what else he has shared. On top of that, my colleagues never told me so I feel even more isolated and alone right now. I feel so sick. Yesterday morning I confronted my ex and he burst into tears telling me he felt so awful for it and just buried it hoping I wouldn’t find out.
Can someone please tell me I will bounce back from this 🙁 I keep having panic attacks and can’t stop crying.
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