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My FWB and I never use condoms for oral sex, but we used to use them for intercourse. Well, a few times the end of last year we ended up having unprotected sex entirely. I thought about it potentially being risky after the fact, because he has random hookups sometimes and told me about a threesome he had last year.
I started thinking we should go back to condoms, since he’s with other women. So the last few times we used condoms again. Then we had a conversation the other day where he said he’d like to go back to raw sex. So I texted him the other day, “Do you have sex with a lot of people?” He texted back, “I mostly take care of myself and I use protection but I always want to feel that ***** even tho I’m scared to death to get you pregnant.” So I asked him, “Do you have raw sex with other people?” He said, “I just told you I don’t. But I feel you are safe.”
I’ve known him for 8 years, so if he says he normally uses protection, I believe him. And I understand him thinking I’m safe, since he knows I’ve only slept with one guy before him and that guy showed me his test results and didn’t have anything.
I’m not really sure what’s the right thing to do. I would like to use condoms if it’s truly safer. But I guess I’m wondering if it makes a huge difference or not? I mean, doesn’t oral already put you at risk for HPV, HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia, etc? And I feel like if a guy gave you an STD in your mouth, if he kissed you and then went down on you, wouldn’t you end up with it in the same way anyway?
Also, if he always uses condoms with others, does that make raw sex risky for me?
Sorry if these are dumb questions. I never had sex ed.
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