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My wife and I (both early 30’s) are going on 12 years now. Our sex life has had its ups and downs but I would describe it as generally okay. The frequency isn’t that high, but it goes really well when it happens.
We are at a point where the process of initiating sex is one of us, usually me but sometimes its her, simply asks if the other wants to.
Now, I have at times tried to make more of a scene about it with candles, laying out her toys, that kind of thing, but what would happen is she wouldn’t be up for it and I could so the pained expression on her face as she thanked me for trying but declined either out of being too tired or whatever. So I felt like doing that kind of thing pressured her without necessarily getting her more in the mood and that it wasn’t a great idea.
So I’m wondering if other long time partners still find ways to get creative or if the “want to have sex” approach is more common at this stage of the game.
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