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Me (22f) and my boyfriend (22m) have been together almost 6 years. Something has really, really been fucking bothering me lately.
My boyfriend definitely has an addiction to porn, I could not give 2 shits about porn- I don’t care if he goes on google and looks up pornhub or whatever site, does his business and then clears it from his history. No issues at all with that. We have an amazing sex life, like- amazing. So none of this affects our sex life, but it is starting to completely fucking destroy me.
He uses my laptop from time to time for whatever so my google is logged in under his account. I was doing homework and went to type something in, when I noticed some extremely weird previously searched sites.
For example- beastiality (idek how the fuck to spell it but😭) so much of it, like 8 plus videos on multiple different days. He searched up specific actresses sex scenes, naked photos of specific actresses. There was an only fans link to my fucking cousins site which I’m not even sure how he found that because he’s met her once, links to a girl we went to school withs twitter account where she posts videos of her and her bf having sex or just sexual videos of herself.
In the past he’s also followed pornstars on Instagram which I have told him is an absolute boundary for me. I don’t care what you do but the second you bring it into real life it’s a problem for me. Especially because in the past he’s gotten mad at me for following certain goodlooking actors, but then it’s ok for him to do that?
I’m not controlling, I don’t normally consider myself insecure by any stretch I’m super fit and take pride in that. Again our sex like is good but all of this is really starting to chip away at my self esteem.
I feel weird even watching movies with him because I always think if theirs a naked actress on screen he’s going to go search it up later and jerk off to it. I get majority of this stuff is considered normal, but I just feel like how can he ever be truly satisfied and happy when I look nothing like the girls he’s always looking at. Idk.
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