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I (f25) have been with my bf (m34) for over a year now and as I’ve gotten to know him, Ive picked up on loads of stupid lies he’s told me. Some of which revolve around sexual history. For instance, saying “I’ve never tried this before” or “I’ve not done this” etc. and then noticed inconsistencies or he’s forgotten what he’s told me before. Felt like he pretended he’s not done something so that I’d do it with him.
He also has a history of frequenting strip clubs- lots of them, before we were together, esp in his home country when he lived there.
One time I’d asked him who was this girl he did something in particular with (titty fuck), and rather than saying “just some girl” which he’d told me once before, this time he said it was a stripper- and I went “what?” Like taken aback. He immediately said he was joking, and I was like you’re lying. Anyway he eventually admitted it was true and now I’m thinking back to all these things he’s told me and I’m convinced he’s had sex with sex workers in the past. Apparently in his home country, strippers encourage touching, and with paying extra- you get more for it than a simple lap dance.
I’ve asked him, but he said that’s the only time. I’m really doubtful and just based on the past lies he’s told me, and even the way he lied over this example has got me feeling really edgy about it all. It puts me off completely thinking that he’s used women like this, and I also get really insecure about my own image- like I’m not good enough.
He even lied about porn usage (I’ve seen his browser history)- saying he barely watched it. And he would google women’s only fans to look at the photos available on google, search for specific women’s porn and photos etc. it’s always around particular women- non of which look anything like me. What really gets to me about it is that I’m so honest when it comes to things like watching porn- I don’t hide it, I talk to him about it, and I don’t really have a problem about watching porn. It’s just the way he goes about pretending he doesn’t just makes me feel like he’s deceiving me.
I hate bringing it up- I try not to, but on the few occasions I’ve asked him, he strongly denies the whole using strippers for sex. I hate going around in circles so drop it as he won’t admit it. I don’t know what to do. Really struggling with this internal conflict and it gets me really down when I think about it.
I guess I needed to get this off my chest and maybe if anyone has a bit of advice I’ve greatly appreciate it.
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