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My fiancé and I have been together for 2 and a half years and our relationship started as a throuple. At first, I was the second girlfriend and all I wanted was to have fun with him and his other girlfriend at the time. I had no intention of having a serious, loving, long term relationship with either of them. A month into us three dating, him and his other girl broke up because he found out she had been cheating on him behind his back. After that we didn’t bring another girl into the relationship for a few months and it was only me and him. It was the best relationship I’ve had by far and during that time we realized that we are almost completely compatible in every way (hobbies and interests, sexual proclivities and kinks, political views, personality traits, etc.). When I realized that, I knew for a fact that I will never find another man who fits me as perfectly as he does in almost every way. It didn’t take the both of us very long to fall in love with each other deeply. He also became my best friend and the person I trust the most. Literally the only thing that we are not compatible in is his deep desire to have multiple women for sex, but have me as his primary woman and wife, and mother of his children. At first, I was ok with our non-monogamous dynamic and even enjoyed having threesomee. But after we fell in love and I introduced him to my family (a very traditional one) my feelings about this have changed. I suddenly now have a deep desire for complete exclusivity and to be enough. It’s very painful for me to imagine him as my future husband and future father of my kids while he constantly has a desire for threesomes and to sleep with other women, but at the same time, I don’t want to let go of someone that fits me so perfectly in every other way, especially because I am aware that I have very weird and complicated tendencies and proclivities and finding someone compatible to all of that is almost impossible.
I have expressed my hurt feelings to him about this and for now, we have stopped sleeping with other women, but I know that he will never be fully satisfied having only me as his only sexual partner forever. I don’t want to condemn myself to a life of unhappiness and feelings of inadequacy and insecurity because I know I’m not sexually enough for him, but I also know that he wouldn’t be happy in a monogamous relationship either and he has been clear about that since day one.
I would appreciate other people’s thoughts and points of view on this, but I’m stuck between thinking that I should just leave this relationship and try again with someone else or to stay and fight for this relationship because I know I won’t find someone else as special as him.
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