[ad_1]
Hey everyone. For reference I am 24 year old male and as the title states, I am a virgin. There are a couple of reasons for it. I’m pretty shy unless I know someone very well (this applies to both men and women). I’m overweight, and I’ve been battling depression for about 3 years now. I’m working on improving myself, including losing the weight and going to therapy for my depression and social anxiety. However, I imagine it’s going to take a good six months to a year of consistency to be able to reach my goals both physically and mentally. By that time, I will be be 25 with still no sexual experience, including a first kiss. This all gives me major anxiety for a couple of reasons.
One, I’m worried about being instantly labeled a red flag for being inexperienced. I’m worried about telling a girl about my lack of experience and have her think “Well he must a virgin for a reason, I’m not about to stick around and find out what it is.” I know there are plenty of bitter virgins that hate women and are deep down the red pill rabbit hole and that’s the reason they’re virgins but that is not me. I’m just fat and quiet with low self-esteem, something I am working towards changing. I’m worried about not being given a chance due to the stigma behind virgins.
Two, I’m worried about being an inconvenience. The girls my age are out of college and are already looking to settle down. They’ve already been in long-term relationships, they’ve already had sex, they’ve already learned all the mistakes not to make along the way. I don’t know any of that. I don’t know how to be a boyfriend. I don’t know how to be in a relationship beyond friendship. I don’t know when to initiate a kiss. Hell, I don’t even know how to kiss (seriously if there’s anything in this thread I need help with, it’s this). Are there really any 25 year old women that want to have to teach their partner how to do all this stuff? So many guys already know all this stuff because they experience it in high school or college. I never did that, and I’m worried that women will not want to put up with having to walk me through everything when they could have a guy that already has that experience. I’m not completely hopeless. I have an idea what being a good partner looks like. I read this subreddit a lot, so I’m not completely clueless when it comes to sex. It’s just hard for me to feel 100% confident in my abilities to date when I’ve never done it in practice, thus I’m worried about being a major inconvenience for any potential partner.
I think really what this boils down to is that I’m worried about not being able to find someone to lose my virginity to. I don’t want to lose it to a one-night stand, I don’t want to lose it to an escort. I want to lose it to my girlfriend. And I’m worried I won’t find a girlfriend. I’m worried about scaring a girl off because I’m a 25 year old virgin. I’m very concerned I will completely humiliate myself the first I make out with a potential girlfriend because I am convinced I will prematurely ejaculate (this is not a joke, I think about this literally everyday. I know it will happen.) I’m worried I simply won’t ever be wanted because I’m unattractive. I’m worried about telling a hypothetical girl I’m seeing that I want her to be my girlfriend before having sex which she will view as too big of a commitment.
Look, I know I’m way overthinking and overanalyzing everything here. But these are things I think about and worry about all the time and it’s really been impeding my progress in self-improvement. Any advice or reassurance would be greatly, greatly appreciated.
TLDR: My virginity causes major anxiety for a variety of reasons that mostly boil down to feeling unworthy of finding partner. Asking for any words of wisdom, advice, or reassurance.
[ad_2]
View Reddit by WilfordBrimleyShoes – View Source