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My wife (F32) and I (M29) got married three days ago. We’re both coming from a religious background, so long story short, we were virgin up until now. Our first night together wasn’t exactly what I’d expected. We were both exhausted from the wedding. She took a nap and woke me up from mine. I wasn’t exactly in the mood (again, I was exhausted), but I didn’t want it to show. I tried my best to reciprocate the affection, but my libido was gone. I still managed to get hard though. Foreplay took way too long, when I thought it was finally time to get inside her, she said she wasn’t ready. Fair enough.
The next day we tried it again, but I wasn’t fully recovered yet. Foreplay went by and then boom! By the time she was begging for it I just couldn’t get it up. All I got was half a boner, which isn’t enough for intercourse. While she was a good sport, this took a massive toll on my self esteem, because I never thought I would be dealing with such a problem. I’ve always been super horny and masturbated almost every single day (no porn). And now? Now when I’m finally supposed to finally enter the promised land, I feel asexual.
She’s enjoying foreplay way more than I am. In fact, I feel nothing at all. I’m literally just doing it for her. Yesterday I got fed up with myself, so I went outside and got a pack of tadalafil to get a boost. I fooled around in the afternoon, and it did work,—I was hard as a rock—but she still wasn’t ready for intercourse.
The night came and we tried it again. My confidence was slightly higher because of the drug, but I was still feeling skeptical in the back of my mind. She was more wild this time and wanted to try intercourse, so there I went. And I felt nothing. NOTHING! The more I tried to thrust myself in, the more she pushed me back (but not enough to get it out). She said it was painful to her. The whole thing felt like a painful workout and I just lost my erection again. The few moments we managed to slip it in, she cried because of the pain. I comforted her because I love her and I don’t want her to be self aware or to feel like she is not enough. We tried it once again this morning. She bled and felt relief (I think this reassured her somehow), but I still felt nothing but exhaustion. I lost my erection again.
I’m devastated. From horny as a rabbit to limp as a blob. What is going on here? Does it get any better? Will I become dependent on the drugs? I don’t want this to be the end of our relationship. We just barely got married. I need help!
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