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I (34f) have been casually dating someone (33m) for a few months, but feel like I might need to break it off due to sexual incompatibility. We haven’t had sex yet, but we’ve messed around. I have given him head a few times and he has gotten me off once with his hand.
We’ve talked about having sex, and the last time he came over he told me that he didn’t want to go down on a woman because he doesn’t feel like he is in ‘control’ which was shocking to hear. Especially because I feel like going down on me means he has a lot of control over my pleasure! His response to why was confusing to say the least and didn’t make sense but it came down to not having control because it was not piv sex.
Has anyone ever been told this by a guy? Do you think it is enough to break off a decent thing that’s been going on? I feel like if we have sex he might be kind of selfish and not care about my pleasure which isn’t a life I want to live!
ETA: Might not be relevant but he is a good guy that I do enjoy spending time with and could see a future with him being fun and adventurous. However, he also recently told me that he believes in double standards because as the man he sacrifices a lot to keep a woman safe and gives up his personal safety for mine (if a situation arose 🤦🏽♀️). With the double standards thing, he said he would rather I not see other guys but he should be able to see this other girl he’s been seeing until he decides he wants to date me exclusively. This made me not want to see him at all but idk what’s going on with men these days and those ideas. Ugh 😩
Edit 2- woah I did not expect this to get this much attention. I meet up with him tomorrow and will break it off. Apparently I needed to hear from random redditors how horrible the situation is. Thanks for all the comments.
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