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We met up recently for a night together and a chat. It’s a pretty life circumstance heavy time. She is leaving her job and may be losing her Monday to Friday schedule. Which will make it difficult potentially for us.
Also, I’ve been having family stuff kicking off.
So I have a lot on my mind. We chatted for a whole while, cuddled and eventually things got sexual.
We moved to the bedroom and started making love. Only, there was a misunderstanding. I thought she said “We don’t need condoms tonight”. English is her second language.
So I didn’t use one like usual. She didn’t tell me when I was inside to stop. Then we had to stop because we realised I needed to order something. She kept kissing me when she said “You need to get up”.
I was hesitant to get up from the bed. So I kissed her and touched her a bit. Then she got really dry and stood up. Said “I’m so dry. You’re giving me mixed signals. You had to get up. You kept trying to do things. Then you also penetrated me a bit without a condom. I won’t do anything if my body isn’t into it. ”
It really hurt me and I felt horrible. For misunderstanding. I didn’t know what to say. I was honestly on the verge of tears. With everything.
We had some really awkward chat, where I told her I felt” horrible ” and apologised. Had dinner. Ended up having sex… Except I struggled to get hard during penetration… To a point she ended up giving me a blowjob and I helped her by eating her out. Letting her finish herself off while kissing and cuddling.
It has been on my mind since. I’ve had some issues with ED. Usually I’m fine. But this is playing on my mind.
Any advice on how to deal with these feelings?
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