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hey everyone 🙂
30m here
my girlfriend and I have been together for over 4 years now and recently got enganged – i have the impression that we really love each other and we are trying to build a life together
our sexlife has it’s ups and downs and has been a bit on the less active and experimental side the past few months (not exactly sure why but i am learning to no stress too much about it and give it time)
regardless,
one thing i keep on struggling with though is:
i struggle with intimacy – deciding and communicating what i want and need
it seems to be twofolded though: on the one hand i have so many different ideas in my head which i would like to try but when my girlfriend asks me what i want, i struggle so hard to decide between all my desires that it often boils down to a “i don’t know” (which understandably often kills our drive in the moment)
on the other hand i am also kind of afraid to voice my desires – i’m afraid my girlfriend would find me/my thought offputting. i seem to be afraid of rejections and that my desires are “not normal” (i think it’s very vanilla stuff) aaaand/or that my girlfriend would do thinks she doesn’t even like/enjoy just to make me happy (which i would of course appreciate but i’m so terribly afraid she might do things she hates and in the long run will find me and my desires appalling)
does anybody else have experience with this and might have a tip or two? 🙂
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