[ad_1]
I (25F) recently unexpectedly had sex on a second date with a guy (26). I didn’t think these kinds of experiences were real but this man figured out how things that no man has ever figured out for me. I completely let go and had the best time.
I personally have never orgasmed with a previous partner because I feel almost like performance anxiety and I have trouble really feeling myself sexually in the moment because of it. But what I have found truly enjoyable in my past experiences was sucking dick. I LOVE it. I feel in control, and I feel so stimulated. I like using my mouth during sex and I really like being able to feel my partner’s penis and arousal and orgasm in ways that I can’t feel as precisely during PIV. I like swallowing and I like the feeling of getting a little nasty, spit, the taste or precum and sweat, making myself gag if he likes that, etc. I really lose myself to pure bliss when I get to go down on a guy and I could do it for hours just on some carnal autopilot. And then when he orgasms I feel like I am too even though I don’t actually, just mentally.
So all I was thinking about before my next encounter with this new partner was sucking his dick. Then, the time came, I saw him a couple nights ago. He gave me my first orgasm with a partner, what a man. And so in my euphoric haze I asked if I could suck his dick. He said “What?” I repeated “Can I suck your dick? :)” and to my surprise he seemed embarrassed and said “No…uh…it’s just a thing.” I was surprised for a second because earlier he was sticking his fingers in my mouth and letting me suck them and he seemed euphoric. But I told that’s okay and kissed him and then we fucked some more.
But okay so in reflection, I would like to talk about this with him next time and see if I can accommodate him if there’s any desire for a positive blowjob experience. 1000% I don’t want him to feel any pressure or feel embarrassed. And of course if he doesn’t want it, he doesn’t want it. But I also want to offer again just because I know there might be certain reservations that I might be a good person to help him overcome. I’m going to share what I plan to say and please give me any feedback you have.
So, I myself am not a huge fan of receiving oral sex for the following reasons: (1) I feel pressure to orgasm, (2) the nature of oral sex makes me feel more self conscious—like what if my vagina tastes bad, etc. (3) I feel like it is an inconvenience to my partner/they can’t possibly enjoy it, (4) previous partners have not been very good at taking direction/responding to feedback, (5) previous partners have given up at the moment I start enjoying it, (6) it just feels particularly vulnerable to me, more than any other sex act. So, I plan to share those things in case anything resonates with him. I also want to be clear that I do not expect him to reciprocate, but I am also happy to give him guidance if he does want to try (he has not initiated thus far).
I want to affirm the fact that I love giving head, and that I can go as long or as short as he wants. I want to tell him that he can feel safe and there is no capacity in which he needs to feel embarrassed or self-conscious because I really want him. And then reiterate again that there is no pressure for him to do it, but just that I want him to know I’d be happy and honored to see if there’s a world in which he does want his dick sucked.
Anyway, any feedback for me? Is this a reasonable way to have this conversation? I’ve just never had this happen before and I want to make sure I’m being a good partner.
[ad_2]
View Reddit by kyungsawoo – View Source