[ad_1]
This sub because I want actual advice in and around the bedroom.
I just broke up with someone I’ve been seeing casually for about 8 months. We’ve had some pretty good sex but not frequently. We flirt on the phone, hung out last night, lots of touching and cuddling, she has said she is developing feelings for me, we go to bed, and…nada. We both really like each other but says I’m the complete package which I know is both true and the death knell of sex. She said she tends to be drawn to emotionally unavailable men and is worried she needs some of that to be turned on.
I left a long, loveless marriage in 2020. I used to have anger issues, but it was really once I changed and stopped engaging with her aggressive behavior that the spark seemed to die.
My one real relationship out of the marriage…six months or so in after some pretty incredible sex I got the “complete package” line again. We are still good friends, but it has taken time on my part to reset expectations around seeing her.
I’m 47M, neurodivergent. I have no trouble meeting people, flirting, getting dates. I am dating anywhere from ages 25-50. I can be slow/timid initiating sex, this is where I struggle, and where there are not a lot of resources to learn from. Once I’m comfortable with someone this problem goes away, but it is clear to me that over time I’m not bringing some “spark” that most women want and need. I am…pretty cut and dry. I have been told I’m too romantic, so I try to dial that back, but then I’m not sure what is left.
Two years of therapy did not address this at all.
What are some different things you do to actually spark arousal? Again I feel my flirt game is strong, I just feel there is an emotional dynamic I’m not creating. I have always needed explicit pointers to learn how people behave, either by watching others or hearing stories, I’ve had to teach myself how to socialize as an adult. I don’t even know what resources there are for how people behave in the bedroom. Thoughts?
[ad_2]
View Reddit by asanskrita – View Source