[ad_1]
I (26F) recently moved to a new city and have been wanting to explore the city with people outside of my work bubble. So, a friend from home connected me with a really good friend of his (31M) who has been living here, thinking we’d get along well as friends and potentially something more.
Between our busy schedules, we were finally able to meet for coffee a couple days ago. And it was the most magnetic first encounter I’ve ever had with anyone… Seriously, it was magical. I’ve never felt so instantly connected with and seen by someone. We share so many life experiences, views, and perspectives. And talking to him felt so peaceful— like when you know, you know (but, at the very least, I knew I had found a really special person who I wanted in my life long term, even if it was just as friends). We talked for hours, but when he got home he texted me that he would have stayed for hours more if the shop hadn’t closed.
When I got home, I immediately called our mutual friend to thank him because of how incredible coffee was. And he told me that my “date” had already called him saying the same thing.
We continued texting throughout the week and made plans to hang out during the weekend before he was set to leave on an extended work trip.
Our plans got changed because of something that came up, so we ended up hanging out at his place. Again, we talked for hours. But… the conversation took a turn.
He is very big on transparency and honesty which really attracted me to him. And we were talking about big things that might negatively affect a relationship (i.e. a secret family, a severe illness). He asked me directly if there was anything I needed to disclose. Knowing a bit about the nature of his extensive ~history~, it felt like the appropriate time to share something that had been weighing on me all week: I’m a virgin (re: negative experiences with the church growing up, @$$@ult, hoping to share that experience with my future husband; but I promise I’m not prude— I’m very generous and creative and was able to keep my ex-partner of eight years very satisfied).
He reacted reasonably well and asked me questions about how it has worked for me previously (answer: a lot of sloppy [insert rhyming word]), why (answer: see re: above), how I felt about his past (answer: I genuinely don’t care; I just adore him as a person, and all his life experiences to this point have made him the incredibly special, thoughtful person he is, etc.) That was one of the last conversations we had before falling asleep together in his bed.
When I got home, he sent me a text saying it was a lot to disclose to someone for just the second time hanging out, and he had a lot to think about and would need time to process because pursuing a romantic relationship with me would mean he’d have to give up P—>V for the foreseeable future (even though the night before I discussed being okay with him sleeping with other people for a while, other workarounds etc.) I understand now it was naïve to think it wouldn’t be a big deal. But I’m still pretty bummed because of how much I like him. My best friend said she hadn’t ever seen me this happy including with my ex. It really felt like I found one of my soulmates…
So, roughly how much time should I expect to wait to hear back from him?
And for my future dating reference, level with me: how big of a deal is no P—>V for a long term relationship? When should I disclose the virginity thing? Any advice for me?
I can edit the post for clarity/questions if needed!
Please be kind but honest…
[ad_2]
View Reddit by SnooBooks8536 – View Source