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I (20F) am not a very sexual person overall, desiring sex or masturbating are pretty much alien concepts to me. It has probably at least some correlation with my cultural background, as I come from a pretty conservative country, where sex is something men need and women put up with in order to be chosen and to prevent their men from leaving. With my ex back home, sex was pretty easy: he touched me for a few very awkward minutes so that it wouldn’t hurt, then do his thing for around ten minutes while I just lied there waiting for him to be done. Then I was free to go about my day. It was pretty much the same for my friends relationships, as far as they would tell me.
Nowadays however I moved to a western European country and recently started being intimate with my new boyfriend. He, turns out, has a very different approach to sex and finds there is something wrong with our sex life. But everything he offers is pretty much out of question for me: some things, like positions such as on my knees (if you see what I mean) are way too whore-ish and others just make me uncomfortable (his face, for example, has nothing to do nowhere near my genitals).
The biggest problem though lies in the fact he insists me to be more “involved” and “passionate” during sex and to “wants to see I desire it”. I’ve grown used to kinda dissociate during sex and just pretend I am elsewhere, when I briefly attempted me to be present by his request I just felt stupid and uncomfortable. I also truly don’t care about receiving pleasure or orgasming or whatever.
I am concerned that if I do not get this sex thing in hand he will leave me, and I do not want that. So what, preferably in baby steps, can I do to begin to solve the issue?
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