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Me (31M) and my ex (29M) recently broke up and it’s being difficult.
We lasted nearly 1 year together and it honestly was amazing, our sex life has been incredible until the very last day together.
His jealousy and control were getting out of hand and we had to call it off, abruptly and in a verbal violent manner. He often accused me of wanting to be with other men, while in actuality I would have rather seen him with some other guy, and I would have found it scorching hot.
At nighttime I am observing this pattern that is starting to concern me.
I am often masturbating looking at his nudes, and imagining him doing stuff with some dude. While I admit it’s damn good masturbation, that gives me ton of pleasure, it’s the aftermath that concerns me: I get really sad, slightly disturbed by the idea of him actually being with someone, and then I simply start to miss him so bad that it’s being difficult stopping myself to make any contact.
While we were together, we often shared this kind of fantasies but it was basically just dirty talking. I did crave to see him with another man, but never brought it to being anything outside a fantasy. I suppose this was always my kink, but now it’s really taking its toll on my mental health…
I’m so distraught, what can I do? How do I stop these fantasies?
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