Why don’t I enjoy sex?

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I am 26(F), I have had relationships with sex but I have never really enjoyed it or I would fake dirty talk and moans when really I’m just waiting for it to end. I could honestly go without. Even if I masturbate, I don’t see the hype, my orgasm isn’t really much to look forward to and can only get it to happen once. I feel pressured when I’m with someone because in my head I feel like, no one would be with me if I don’t do sex. Now, when meeting new people in the dating scene, the minute they start advancing a bit to more sexual touches, I freeze and panic and I get scared and I really wish it wasn’t the case…. Am I demisexual? Am I asexual? Have I just always had shitty partners??? I have no idea but I feel broken and unlovable… Any thoughts and advice would be appreciated, thanks

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