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I feel embarrassed to have sex with my bf. I shouldn’t. I’ve known him for years but it’s to the point that I dread having sex because everything about it Is embarrassing and I can’t enjoy it anymore. Having all the attention on me, the act, different positions, what I look like doing it, me being pleasured. All of it is embarrassing and idk why. It still feels good physically but it’s not the same when you’re freaking out and feel so cringey the whole time. It’s nothing to do with my bf. It’s all me. I do struggle with low confidence and self esteem and have really bad anxiety. But it’s starting to bother my bf. It makes him feel unloved and unwanted and I don’t want him to feel that way. It’s not fair to him because of my messed up brain and it’s way of operating. I just do it to make him happy. Even when I do want it or like it, that doesn’t change a thing, and I still feel so embarrassed and awkward. I’ve talked to ppl about it and hve done a lot of research but nothing has helped. I’ve been open with my bf and he knows everything and I’m very vocal about these feelings with him but nothing helps. I can’t just “do it” or “try this” my brain won’t allow me. I know it’s all in my head but I can’t get out of it. Pls someone help.
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