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Malcolm in the Middle is a sitcom series featuring Frankie Muniz as the titular Malcolm, a scientific genius who is the middle child of a dysfunctional family of four (later five) boys. Aside from being a nostalgic early 00s series, there is word that a movie reboot may also be on the way. With several brothers in the house, and the show occurring during the characters’ adolescence, the boys tend to feud a lot. Their fighting is something of a reoccurring joke in the series.
Though the boys get along sometimes, other times they can be seen pulling cruel, albeit hilarious pranks on each other. Plenty of these go beyond the basic wet willies and atomic wedgies, and they’re almost always spectacular to behold.
10/10 Bad Hair Day — “Thanksgiving” [S5E4] (2003)
The cold open for this episode features Reese (Justin Berfield) about to receive a haircut from Lois (Jane Kaczmarek). Reese is on-edge and tells his mother what he wants as his voice quivers with nervousness. Lois assures Reese that she has done this a million times and that it will be fine.
Dewey (Erik Per Sullivan) walks into the room and hears this exchange. Noticing the tension, he rips the pocket on his shirt and tells his mom that he ripped it while sneaking into a reservoir, somewhere she had previously ordered him to never enter. This, naturally, makes Lois angry, and her newfound aggression causes her to give Reese a much rougher haircut than what he asked for, all while he pleads with her to calm down.
9/10 Reese Retaliates — “Reese vs Stevie” [S7E3] (2005)
This one also comes in a cold open and is orchestrated by Reese. Lois comes home from grocery shopping while listening to an audiobook in her car. But just then, the mystery novel begins to get good. Lois spends several more hours in the car, listening to the plot unfold.
Just before the big twist of the mystery is revealed, and the culprit is identified, the recording is interrupted by Reese’s prerecorded voice, who berates Lois for not letting him buy nunchakus, even though he feels they are safe.
8/10 Lifeguard Rescue — “Water Park” [S1E16] (2000)
The Season 1 finale features the parents and the boys (minus Dewey and Francis (Christopher Masterson)) traveling to a waterpark for a brief getaway. This episode is the first time Reese and Malcolm get into one of their prank wars, which Reese initiates by bringing Malcolm’s nose plug, an embarrassing precautionary item so that chlorine doesn’t get into Malcolm’s messed-up sinuses. Of course, Lois then forces Malcolm to wear the nose plug, which looks strange and makes him sound like he has a cold.
Sensing an opportunity when Reese is busy splashing people in the pool, Malcolm tells a lifeguard that Reese cannot swim and is drowning. The lifeguard jumps in to save Reese and hauls him to the makeshift beach, where Reese is lying on the sand. The prank proves to work out even better than Malcolm anticipates, as a huge, hairy guy begins blowing air into Reese’s mouth to resuscitate him.
7/10 Malcolm Floats an Idea — “Forwards Backwards” [S4E5] (2002)
Another episode features a gradually escalating prank war between Reese and Malcolm, this is one of the final schemes that Reese executes. Reese finds a photo of Malcolm as a toddler sitting on a training toilet and prints 500 copies of it. Then, Reese distributes the copies around the school.
It’s one of the cruelest and most embarrassing things Malcolm has endured at Reese’s hands, but it’s still pretty funny. Of course, this isn’t the end of the prank war, and Malcolm proceeds to pull off something less creative, but much crueler.
6/10 Giant Slingshot — “Halloween Approximately” [S2E2] (2000)
Francis comes home for a weekend in this early episode, but the rest of the boys are saddened that he didn’t come home over Halloween. This is because the boys have a tradition of causing chaos and vandalizing property over Halloween. Normally, this is led by Francis, but since he isn’t present, the boys stick to trick-or-treating instead.
Francis assures them that as long as the spirit of vandalism is still alive in their hearts, any day can be Halloween. He plans to make it up to them by getting them all to craft a giant slingshot, which can launch some pretty disgusting projectiles over two city blocks. Some of these include but are not limited to full garbage bags, used diapers, and paint-filled balloons. It’s truly magnificent to behold, and it’s wholesome to see all the boys working together for once.
5/10 Cata-paint — “Lois Strikes Back” [S7E16] (2006)
This is roughly the same concept as the giant slingshot, but it’s a little more special because it’s not just Reese pulling this off, but Lois is involved too. When a bunch of girls publicly humiliate Reese, Lois gets back at them by playing a few practical jokes of her own. The final plot she concocts is to create a catapult that launches paint-filled water balloons at one of the girls responsible for Reese’s misery.
Lois and Reese have some pretty awesome mother-and-son bonding time for a change. And the best part is that it’s the night of a formal dance, so the girl and her boyfriend’s fancy clothes are ruined by the incoming paint.
4/10 Special Delivery — “Jessica Stays Over” [S7E5] (2005)
In this episode, Reese stupidly decides to ship himself to China to confront his pen pal that he is feuding with (for reasons that are not at all valid). Dewey, ever the evil genius, decides to toy with Reese. Reese is placed in a shipping crate with food and water. But instead of taking Reese to the post office, Dewey just takes him back to the garage.
There, the crate is placed on an unstable platform, which Dewey repeatedly rocks back and forth to simulate a ship. Dewey also places a plate of old fish nearby, with a fan blowing the salty stench in the direction of the crate. Reese genuinely thinks he has been at sea for weeks, and that he is going to China when in reality, he is just sitting in his garage.
3/10 Late for Work — “Carnival” [S2E23] (2000)
Both Malcolm and Reese pull this harsh joke on their poor, unsuspecting father. They do it out of pure boredom since Lois has taken away their TV privileges. To initiate it, all they need to do is set Hal’s (Bryan Cranston) alarm clock ahead, and wait for the magic to unfold.
Hal wakes up with a start, realizing he is late. He then runs around the house, multitasking as much as possible, and cramming all of his morning routines into only a couple of minutes of pure agony. With how clumsy Hal is, none of this goes well, and the boys laugh the whole time.
2/10 Framing Francis — “Malcolm vs Reese” [S2E22] (2001)
The premise of “Malcolm vs Reese” is that Francis comes home for a weekend with two tickets to a wrestling match. He intends to take either Malcolm or Reese with him, but he forces them to compete in a butt-kissing contest. Whoever pleases him the most will get to go with him. However, the two younger brothers are enraged when Francis decides to take a girl he met instead.
In retaliation, Malcolm and Reese organize a pretty sophisticated plot. As Francis picks up his date, the boys report his car as stolen, leading him to be pulled over by a police officer. When the officer demands Francis’ license and registration, Francis finds that his wallet is empty, and the boys have left a threatening sticky note within. As the officer asks Francis to step out of the car, a knocking is heard from the trunk. Upon opening the trunk, the officer finds that Malcolm and Reese have tied themselves up and placed duct tape over their mouths before hiding in the trunk and acting frightened. It’s the perfect storm that ensures nobody gets to go to the wrestling match after all.
1/10 Party Crashers — “Family Reunion” [S4E3] (2002)
It’s quite possibly the most iconic scene in the series, maybe even in sitcom history. When Lois’ in-laws send her away on a wild goose chase, they take a family photo, including several extended family members, without Lois. Lois proceeds to hide in the bathroom and cry. The boys, Francis included, seeing her upset, begin to formulate a plan for revenge.
First, they get in a golf cart and plow through a poster. Then, with the help of their cousins, they drive over to the outdoor lunch table, knocking everything down and running over the plates of delicious food. They take the tablecloth with them. Malcolm steers the wheel to knock over a statue before all four brothers crash the cart into a swimming pool. It’s a fantastic moment, and it’s so wonderful to see all the boys working together to defend their mother.
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