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Sometimes the one that got away is the one who was never really there in the first place. Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) went through quite a few duds in her time on Sex and the City, but there was actually one guy who should’ve made the cut — and it wasn’t Big (Chris Noth) or Aidan (John Corbett).
Jeremiah (Samuel Ball) could’ve been an otherwise forgettable character on Sex and the City, but there was just something that made him stick out a little bit more than the other men who Carrie dated throughout the series. A well-known performance artist who moonlighted as a cater waiter to New York City’s elite, Jeremiah was able to see through it all unlike any of Carrie’s other love interests. Although he clocked in at only five minutes on-screen, Jeremiah was able to make quite a mark among the failed boyfriends of Carrie’s past: more than anyone else was able to, he peeled back the uninhibited, honest Carrie who was always there lingering beneath the surface.
Who Was Jeremiah on ‘Sex and the City’?
A spark doesn’t have to make a noise — it speaks for itself, and what Jeremiah and Carrie displayed during those five minutes on-screen was nothing short of that. Though old friends originally, the two re-met on the terrace at a well-to-do woman’s party that Carrie was attending with Big. After being told that she couldn’t smoke inside and wasn’t allowed to drink non-clear alcohol, she decided to take a breather from the stuffiness that came along with attending one of these gatherings and headed outside for a smoke break sans Big.
Just after she lit up her cigarette out on the terrace, Jeremiah wandered outside to do the same, as he was working the party as a waiter. For Carrie, seeing Jeremiah was like being thrown a life preserver in choppy waters. Carrie and Jeremiah connected on the exact same level: both were trying to make their passions work in a world that favored people who took on the corporate side of life.
Sure, their encounter on the terrace ultimately resulted in Carrie being accused of going down on Jeremiah as she was checking out his tattoo, but ultimately, it was worth it, because both of them ended up getting to leave the party on the earlier side. They headed out to celebrate Jeremiah getting fired with pitchers of margaritas at a local bar and sung their whole way home back to Carrie’s apartment to the tune of “Joy to the World” by Three Dog Night.
Their walk home was more carefree than any other end-of-the-night walk we’d seen Carrie have with Big, Aidan, Aleksandr Petrovsky (Mikhail Baryshnikov), Jack Berger (Ron Livingston), or any other one of her more serious boyfriends. She was purely happy in a way that we’d never seen her before, because at her heart, Carrie was never a high-society sort of person — she could see through all of that, but for Big and a few others, she ignored what was right in front of her face and sacrificed her core self in the process.
Whenever she was with Aidan and (especially) Big, it always felt like she was holding back that free and easy part of herself, that she wasn’t being the real Carrie. For five minutes on-screen, we finally got to see the real Carrie. The only problem was that she was too blinded by Big to see that Jeremiah was bringing out such a true part of herself.
Why Jeremiah Was Better for Carrie Than Aidan or Big
While they ended up kissing on the street outside of her apartment, Carrie and Jeremiah didn’t sleep together, though he did stay the night. A part of her still felt attached to Big: he was always the piece of gum that she just couldn’t quite get off her shoe, and for many reasons, she wanted him to be that piece of gum. Perhaps there was a part of her that liked being the one in the relationship who didn’t fully fit into the other’s world, and though it went both ways, it just wasn’t the same when Big was looking from the outside in to Carrie’s life.
Ultimately, it was that attachment to Big that kept her from going forward with Jeremiah: the old ball and chain stopped her from even being able to envision a future with him. The next morning, Carrie awoke to a phone call from Big apologizing for acting holier-than-thou the night before.
“Listen, I know what you’re really pissed off about, but it’s just something I’ve gotta do in my own time,” Big says. “Well, I fucking love you. All right? You know I do. It’s just a tough thing for me to say because it always seems to get me in trouble when I say it.”
And just like that, Jeremiah was completely erased from her brain, even though he was lying right next to her in bed.
While Aidan and Big might’ve appeared to be miles apart, they were actually more alike than we thought. Carrie didn’t have to change herself in order to feel comfortable with Jeremiah, but with both Aidan and Big, she gave up integral parts of herself just to fit into a mold. Sure, Aidan wasn’t involved in any sort of high society, but Carrie still felt the need to bend herself into a million different pretzel twists just to mesh into his outdoorsy, go-with-the-flow way of being. While Big had the high-society thing as part of his baggage, he and Carrie did have that internal spark going for them, which kind of canceled that out. Now, here’s where Jeremiah comes in: he had zero high-society baggage and all the spark, making him the best of both worlds.
Jeremiah might have seemed like he didn’t have the sort of staying power that Big and Aidan ultimately did, it’s only because his chance was ripped out from under him by Big. All it took was one phone call from him the morning after that party for Carrie to completely forget their fight from the night before. And because of that, we’ll never know whether Carrie could’ve lived a happier, more carefree life with Jeremiah.
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