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Editor’s Note: The following contains descriptions of domestic abuse.The 2002 “comedy” Tiptoes starring Gary Oldman and Matthew McConaughey is one of the most absurd and misguided feature films ever made. At first glance, this early 2000s giga-flop seemed to have a recipe for a sure-fire hit. The infamous film boasts a star-studded cast with three future Oscar-winners, those being Gary Oldman for Darkest Hour, Matthew McConaughey for Dallas Buyers Club, and Patricia Arquette for Boyhood. It also features a future Emmy winner in a pre-Game of Thrones era Peter Dinklage.
The actors themselves aren’t Tiptoes’ biggest problem, as most of them do their best with what they’re given. The true Achilles Heel of Tiptoes rather is one particularly baffling casting decision, coupled with some weak writing, and studio interference.
What Is ‘Tiptoes’ About?
Tiptoes markets itself with one of the most overused and monotonous plot devices known to humankind – the love triangle. The film primarily follows three central characters Steven (Matthew McConaughey), Carol (Kate Beckinsale), and Rolfe. Steven is a firefighter who is embarrassed and ashamed by his heritage, that being that he is the only person in his family who isn’t a little person. Steven is dating Carol, who wants to become a mother despite Steven’s apprehensions. Finally, there’s Rolfe, who we’ll hold off on explaining for now.
Also, while all this is going on, Rolfe’s friend Maurice (Peter Dinklage) and his girlfriend Lucy (Patricia Arquette) are part of a spectacularly bland subplot that adds little in the way of comic relief or levity. That all being said, Tiptoes‘ general concept and themes do hold water. Even to this day, the stigma against little people is something that is woefully underrepresented in the film industry. Even when represented, it’s often stereotypical and rooted in stereotypes, so a film that profoundly explores the subject matter and shines a spotlight on negative stereotypes around little people.
Unfortunately for Tiptoes, any good intentions the film had were chucked out the window thanks to one fatal flaw that is impossible to overlook.
Why Gary Oldman’s ‘Tiptoes’ Casting Doesn’t Work
If you’re one of the lucky people who has not experienced Tiptoes or has even heard of the film, we’d be willing to bet that you thought that Peter Dinklage, someone who actually is a little person, would be playing the lead little person character, right? Oh no. Instead, the role of Steven’s little person twin brother Rolfe is played by Gary Oldman. So, let’s start with the obvious: Gary Oldman isn’t a little person. In a movie that is supposed to be all about how little people are treated poorly in society, casting a non-little person in the most significant little-person role of the story is the worst possible decision that could have been made. Some critics have even gone as far as compare Oldman’s casting to blackface, and it’s not an unfair comparison to make. Even Oldman playing Steven’s twin brother doesn’t make any sense, given that Oldman is over a decade older than McConaughey.
Even worse is how remarkably unconvincing the effects are to make Oldman look like a little person. Oldman spends most of his time on his knees for his performance, but that does little to make the proportions look convincing at all. The camera rarely pans down to Rolfe’s feet and legs, but when it does, both the digital and practical effects do virtually nothing to make Oldman look like a little person.
‘Tiptoes’ Is Aggressively Unfunny
You may have noticed that we put the word “comedy” in quotation marks when describing Tiptoes. That’s our not-so-subtle way of telling you that Tiptoes simply isn’t funny. The worst thing a comedy can do, aside from mocking a minority group with offensive casting, is not be funny. Despite being billed as a comedy, Tiptoes features hardly any jokes, hardly any punchlines, hardly any set-ups, hardly any anything really.
Why Doesn’t the Maurice and Lucy ‘Tiptoes’ Subplot Work?
Despite being entirely inconsequential to the plot, Patricia Arquette gets top-billing in Tiptoes. Her relationship with Maurice, one of the only major characters in the film who actually is played by a little person, is a complete and total waste of time. It almost feels like the subplot was only included because the film’s creators realized they would be making a movie about little people without many little people.
Maurice is Rolfe’s French best friend who falls in love with hitchhiker Lucy, and there’s little to no development in their relationship beyond “they like each other.” They take up so much screen time but do absolutely nothing with it. There is an agonizingly long scene where the couple is in a motel room and spends minutes talking about alcohol, only to follow that with an equally long sex scene which adds nothing. That’s only one of many pointless scenes with these two talented actors, and dull moments like this make a film that is only an hour and a half feel like an eternity.
Matthew McConaughey’s Steven Turns Evil Out of Nowhere
Throughout most of the film, Matthew McConaughey’s Steven is misguided, but ultimately good-hearted. While he is ashamed and embarrassed by the way his family is, he still loves them and enjoys his time with them. He seems more worried about the stigma behind little people and how bringing a child who is a little person into the world could cause them to be discriminated against. That appears to be what the film is going for in the first two acts, but the third act suddenly sees Steven go from a mild-mannered guy into an irredeemable monster.
Literal minutes after Carol and Steven’s child is born, the news of their child being a little person sends Steven into a blind rage, even going as far as to punch a hole in the wall. After this, Steven becomes incredibly abusive to his wife and infant son, screaming at them for something as arbitrary as physical appearance. This ultimately leads to Carol leaving Steven and starting a romantic relationship with Rolfe. Still, Steven’s turn to cruelty feels so out-of-nowhere and out-of-character that it feels like a forced conflict.
Peter Dinklage and the Director of ‘Tiptoes’ Claim Studio Interference Ruined the Film
After being so poorly received by critics despite being an official selection of the 2004 Sundance Film Festival, stories began circulating that Tiptoes failed due to studio interference. This is a theory maintained by the fact that director Matthew Bright was reportedly fired during Tiptoes post-production, with Bright’s screenwriting credit even being removed temporarily. The experience was apparently so bad that it ended Bright’s filmmaking career as a whole, as he has not directed a project since making Tiptoes.
Bright received support from Peter Dinklage of all people, who claimed that the director’s cut of Tiptoes is far better than the producer’s cut. Dinklage had great praise for Bright’s version of the film, describing it as “gorgeous”. Would Bright’s version have been a gripping story? We’ll likely never know, but it’s hard to imagine that it’d be any worse by one of the worst examples of Oscar Bait ever conceived.
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